Reject the reptiles <insert lobbyist joke here>

The Inside Edge acknowledges that of all the western turtles, the western painted turtle is probably most in sympathy with the dreams and aspirations of Coloradoans in general. We can’t think of a reptile that would represent the state better amongst the cold-blooded animal-citizens of this great state.

That’s why is has been so difficult for us to come to this conclusion: you must reject the western painted turtle as Colorado’s official state reptile as proposed in HB 1017.

We understand that in not selecting the western painted turtle as Colorado’s official reptile it will greatly hinder Colorado legislators’ from solving the tough issues that we pay them to solve, yet we feel compelled to speak out.

Yes, our opposition will probably anger the constituents of bill sponsors Ms. Veiga and Ms. Peniston.

After all, if we successfully uphold this reptile nomination it will hinder other, pressing bills like HB 1042 (the Animal Massage Therapy Exception) or HB 1048, (a bill that deals with the size of the state seal), or HB 1099 (the Neutering of Doug Bruce enabling act- this one’s still being written).

Yes, we know our opposition to HB 1017 and selection of this fine upstanding turtle as our state turtle will make it harder for the legislature to ignore the real pressing problems of the state, like our economy, schools, roads and taxes- none of which are addressed so far in any of the bills pending before the legislature.

We understand too that in rejecting HB 1017 it means that we’ll be dishonoring the money the state paid into having the legislative council research the turtle, hold committee hearings on the turtle and write the bill about the turtle, etc.   

We know all of this.

Yet we still take our stand against this noble, yet slow, reptile- we mean the turtle, not the legislators; legislators aren’t noble.

We take it because we reject the process.

Back behind this nomination, made by two sponsors from the same Party, we see lurking the nefarious interests of the big-moneyed reptile lobbyists <insert lobbyist joke here> over other well deserving and honorably serving reptiles. Again, we mean the turtle, not the legislators.

Please contact your elected officials today about this disturbing bill.

Don’t mention our name.