The Top Ten Power Positions in Colorado

Because so many people admire the BCS college football Bowl System (cough, hack, yawn), we here at the Inside Edge came up with a similar methodology to measure the power and prestige of Colorado politicians.

Like the BCS Bowl System, it consists primarily of a computer-based simulation engine. The engine has sophisticated algorithms that predict the behavior of party activists, lobbyists and politicians under various scenarios.

It also has spell check.

In short, it’s like a mini-caucus on our computer. Except in OUR simulations, Congressman Doug Lamborn walks into highway traffic at the end of each caucus. We’re still trying to figure out if the tragedy is caused by a glitch or if it’s just validation of our methodology. It’s really sad watching that little cartoon Doug Lamborn character gasp and writhe in pain. I mean the character in our simulation, NOT the one in real life. Shame on you.

Also, like the BCS Bowl System, the results from our simulation must meet strict criteria in order to be considered valid. Firstly, the results must make angry the widest numbers of people who feel slighted because their favorite pol was left off, or not ranked high enough or they can’t believe that old what’s-her-name was included, etc.

Oh the fun of computers!

The second criterion is that the politicians on the list must reside in Colorado.

The Top Ten Power Positions in Colorado:

1)    Governor Bill Ritter- Hey the Gov’s is tops, but it’s a pretty weak field

2)    Dick Wadhams- No one in Colorado can touch him professionally. Watch for the House and Senate GOP to do his bidding in 2008.

3)    Ken Salazar- He takes the spot mostly because of the office he holds and for no other reason. It’s kind of like including a Big Ten team in the BCS.

4)    Mike Coffman- Would rank higher but for his recent troubles

5)    Marilyn Musgrave-  Makeover or not, she’s hanging tough despite the target the Hotalings put on her

6)    Joan Fitz-Gerald- Former Senate Pres favorite in 2nd CD

7)    Bob Schaffer- Very influential in the GOP, plus name ID.

8)    Ken Gordon- He knows how to communicate even if he didn’t win

9)    The Hickenlooper- Playing nice while sharing the stage with Ritter

Tom Wiens- The man’s smart plus he’s made of money. That counts for something in politics. Now he only has to use his power for good.